Love Is Colour Blind

Love Is Colour Blind

Don't leave me alone Chris, those were her final words before she left me off this world.
She had been lying in the Intensive Care Unit for 6 months after she slipped and fell awkwardly on the kitchen floor while cooking dinner.
We had been married for 61 years. I was a black immigrant from the Dominican Republic who had come to London to look for work and find the good life too. She was a  white British nurse who worked in a local clinic close to the shipping harbour where our ship landed.
This was in 1956. The first time I saw her, I knew right there and then she was the right woman for me. Margaret was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Funny, affable and affectionate, she was always ready to help anyone in need..
I had a deep cut on my left arm from forcing my way to board the ship when it was about to set sail from my home country of the Dominican Republic to England. So I had to check myself to the local clinic where Margaret worked to have my hand treated. And that was where I met Margaret. I was infactuated with her at first glance but suddenly it moved to deep affection and love, purely from the way she welcomed and treated other patients in the clinic.

She got to me and started to attend to my hand right away, applied a little bit of alcohol to halt the bleeding and bandaged it later. Although very painful, I couldn't care less about the pain.  Can I take you out for a drink later this evening if you don't mind Miss....??
I asked her with a big smile.
Margaret, my name is Margaret and you are? She asked politely. I'm Chris, Chris Ortega from the Dominican Republic. Nice to meet you. This is my first time in the UK actually.

Ok...Chris, nice to meet you too.
Tell you what, I will take you up on your offer if you agree to be a good patient, sit still and stop staring at my behind all day.
And like they say the rest was history. The first time we experienced racial abuse was in Margaret's family home in Essex. She introduced me to her family a few months after we first met as her boyfriend. They were shocked to see their daughter dating a black man, much less an immigrant. I remember very well, the comment her big sister passed when she saw me... Maggie, why do you mix with people of this kind?
She said. They are not our type and they cannot be in our league of human class.
But regardless of the venomous verbal attacks from people, we were both determined to make our love work and prove to people that love goes beyond colour or race.
We got married in 1959 in a small church near the Essex County Market. Margaret's family did not want anything to do with the wedding for they considered our love an abomination and a disgrace.  There were only 5 people present at our wedding. Yes, 5.
Margaret's younger sister, Lydia, one of her friends from the clinic and the reverend father who defied Catholic church rules to wed us because he considered our bond of love a new opening to "grow and expand human thinking"
On our first honeymoon picnic, all the people who were seated with their families got up and left when they saw us approaching, kissing and holding hands. We spent our picnic alone in the park because they even didn't want to get close to us.
They said; Look at those two, in love. How strange that is"
Two years later, we had our son, Terrence and a year later, Riley. My dear Margaret took on the responsibility to homeschool our children because every school we took them to, the kids in the school bullied and harassed them for being different. Even though, they were both biracial and of mixed race, they suffered the same humiliation like I their father, had suffered as a black man.
I worked three odd jobs in construction, meat packing and dishwashing in a restaurant..
So my darling Margaret decided to quit her job as a nurse to homeschool our own children full time and also take care of our home. As a result, I worked all weeknights and weekends as well just to make ends meet for my family.
In 1965, Margaret was going about her regular weekend shopping with Terrence and Riley.
A boy snatched Riley's candy from her hand and ran away with it. Like her mother, the lioness in my daughter jumped in and she chased after the boy to take her candy back.
The boy reported Riley to a group of people who were standing by,  that she, Riley wanted to steal her candy from him. When it was quite the opposite. Without asking questions, they caught  Riley and beat her up. When Margaret tried to stop by shouting on them, they beat her to pulp and she suffered from broken bones and joints a few days later.
I could go on and on about the biases and senseless abuse we faced as interracial couples.
But I want to ask you reading this, what is stopping you from making your marriage or love relationship work again?
What has your wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend done so wrong that you cannot forgive her for?
Why are you expecting the person you love to be perfect before you accept him or her?
Why must you attach conditions to the way you treat and love people?
My Margaret took every risk to love me and accept me as her husband knowing all the risk and dangers that came with the love that we shared as two different people in 1950 England.
Yet we overcame each obstacle brick by brick. I tell you, it wasn't easy, especially for Margaret but we did it. And so can you.
Love conquers and bears all things.
Margaret died from complications from her fall in 2015 at the age of 83. Even in her death bed, she kept holding on tight to my hand saying "don't leave me alone Chris... until her last breath.

What sacrifice are you making me to make your love and relationship work?

My name is Chris Ortega from the Dominican Republic.  This is my love story.

Kwame Sarpong

Freelance Writer

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