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Know Your Limits


Are you a generous person who always genuinely want to help people?

Do you always want to go above and beyond yourself to help people just because you are a good or a kind person?

Or are you being kind or generous to people so as to receive praises and Cheers of approval from people?

Then this article is for you, so listen....

A lot of times we feel compelled  to help, support and be kind to people because we feel for them or because we can sometimes identify ourselves with their pain.

But often times, if you will and watch pretty well, we do so and leave our own goals and aspirations behind. Because we may think that oh, this person is really in a bad situation and he really needs help. I know I have got to start my business this year, but wait,  let me help this my friend or sister out with some money or some support. After he or she is physically or financially stable, I'll get back to building my business again.

Great idea, my dear sister and brother, but here's the thing maybe you haven't realised yet, how will you know for sure you can get back to building that business again or work on that personal goal again?

You will agree with me that there is no assurance or certainty to that. Right?

Do not ever shoot yourself in the foot by doing a good deed which may eventually throw you backwards in life or drag you deeper into a mess you may never recover from.
Back in the University,  I think on my last semester of my second year, being the kind person that I was, I decided to help my coursemates out with a French Conversation Exam. A few of us could really do the paper, but majority couldn't. On reading through the paper, I realised it was a pretty simple comprehension excercise. So I thought to myself, let me help my next person seated by me with answers to all the questions.
I wrote all the questions and provided the answers on an additional paper and passed it on to her to be passed on to everybody who was suffering too.
Here's the sad part, by the time, I handed the additional  paper to the person and started to work on mine, it was left with only 5 minutes to finish the exam. The lecturer shouted the time left and I was shaking like a leaf with fear. I wrote as much as I could. When the final results came, everyone thought I will have a 100% or 80% the least.

Including my French lecturer. He called out my name first, Kwame Sarpong. Smiling this moment, because I thought I had done very well as usual. But he said, you have really shocked me this time, you had 60% why??

Just to let you know, I'm very disappointed in you. I couldn't console myself because he said this Infront of everybody in the class. The people I had sacrificed so much time to help them past the test, became the same people who were laughing at me hard for being stupid and a fool.

This then became a hard lesson for me after college, that I will never help anybody so much or put whole of myself in their  affairs so much that I forget the important things I need to do for myself too.
The sad thing is some of the people you may sacrifice so much to help will not even remember or appreciate what you did for them years ago or things you are still doing for them.

These days, even though I still help a lot of people,  I have limits to how far I want to go with helping somebody. I push towards self sufficiency with the person even with my family members. I will help you get on your feet but you also have to push yourself to make something meaningful from what I'm giving you or doing for you. I will let you know, by one year, 6 months,by 5 days etc. I'm done based on a plan or strategy I will draw with you. I will invest and devote more of myself or invest any other needed support if you are doing great with the little help I'm offering you.  (Read the parable of the Talents from the Bible).

Life is what is happening right Infront of you, while you are busy making other plans and not paying attention to the present moment.

*Kwame Sarpong*
*Freelance Writer*

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