The Anxiety Hole

I was always his favourite niece growing up. I used to sit on his lap with joy and excitement everytime he will visit my mum, his sister.

He will always buy me scented flowers decorated in a little pot. He will tell me to put one flower in my hair and place the rest of them beside the window facing his room so at night, before he sleeps, with just one look, he can think of how beautiful I am.
I did as he instructed without fail everytime until I was 16.
On my 16th birthday, everybody gave me a gift. My favourite uncle this time said he was going to show me something special before he gives me the gift.
I was raped forcefully like a sex slave by my dear uncle on the same night of my 16th birthday.
I couldn't tell my parents, I couldn't confide in my siblings for I was ashamed, sad and didn't know who to trust with this abominable secret. My uncle threatened to kill me with JuJu if I ever mentioned this to anyone. So I didn't.
Today, I am a full grown woman, married to a gentle soul of a man. I cannot pleasure him as a woman sexually as required of me by marriage.
Because I feel scared, very afraid and react violently anytime he tries to touch me.
Anxiety is real... Fear from dreadful past trauma is real too. This is my story. What is yours?

*On Anxiety*

Anxiety is a common emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. If left untreated, anxiety can be crippling. It can lead to lightheadedness, nausea, headaches, stomach pains, panic attacks and more.
Therapy, medication or a combination of the two are vital if anxiety is inhibiting your daily life. And for a quick fix, experts say relaxation techniques like mantras can help.

An anxiety disorder is an acute form of anxiety and a serious medical condition.

Anxiety can also manifest  (show) itself as fear, restlessness, getting easily irritated, an inability to sleep or focus. Other symptoms include stuttering, sweating, finding it hard to talk to others, and feeling of being constantly judged.
Anxiety can also appear as a panic attack, or even a generalized anxiety disorder, in which one keeps on worrying and dreading the future.Left untreated, anxiety can lead to depression, early death, and suicide.

*How to Handle Anxiety* :

• Curb (control)  your sugar, alcohol and caffeine consumption.

• Calm yourself by deep breathing and refocusing on your body parts.

• Distract yourself by listening to music or a little exercise.

Stress, worry and anxiety can be helped by regular exercise, a nutritious diet and an ample amount of sleep.

*Source of anxiety*

Constant uncertainty.There is no promise that investments will go up in the future.What you can do:
• You can measure something. The act of measurement takes an unknown quantity and makes it known. You can't know for certain how much money you will have in retirement, but you can remove some uncertainty from the situation by measuring how much you save each month.

• Shift Your Worry from the long-term problem to a daily routine that both rewards you right away (immediate return) and resolves your future problems (delayed return).Insteadof worrying about living longer, focus on taking a walk each day.

*Tackling Your Anxiety*

• Reach out to a mental health professional, even if you can’t meet with them in person.

• Reframe the virus outbreak by temporal distancing, or by focusing your attention on a longer timescale.

• Try putting the outbreak in historical context (there have been many pandemics during our history).

• Limit how much information you consume about the new virus outbreak. Find the right balance between being informed and being overwhelmed.

Please if you know anyone battling with anxiety or anxiety disorder, let this article remind you today to help him or her.

Together we are going to win this fight.

Kwame Sarpong