The Power of Forgiveness

How far are you willing to go to forgive someone who has really hurt you so bad, physically and emotionally??

*The story continues* .......

A few years passed and I was ordained as a Reverend Minister of my church in the company of my daughters who were now mothers and women of God serving in  the childrens ministry in the church. One afternoon, I decided to go visit the inmates at the Kigali Maximum Prison to share the word of God with them, teach them about the Bible and the love that God bears for the world through the gift of salvation of his son Jesus Christ to the world.
The warden (head of the prison) led me to the biggest front yard of the male prison to preach to them all and his men too. So they called out everyone and arranged the place with a pulpit to use and preach to them all.
I came in and saw hundreds of men  standing on their feet and clapping for me as I entered with joy.
I shouted out loud; Boys, do you know how much Jesus loves you? He loves you and me so much and he is patiently waiting for us to come to him to wash our sins with his blood and bring us back to God, our father in heaven. Are you willing to forgive your past and repent towards the future in Christ Jesus?
As soon as  I said that I saw one of the men who looked just like one of the soldiers who had visited my house that horrible Sunday morning many years ago. But I just focused and kept on preaching. When it was time for altar call, many men came forward with their hands in the air to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ.
And there, was this boy again I saw and recognised earlier.
Jesus, you know what, you really are a smart man, you intentionally brought me here to talk about you and forgiveness to these people only to bring this devil to test my mood.??? Nooo, this, I cannot forgive. I have not even forgotten after so many years. Wait wait here Jesus, I couldn't remarry any other man when he killed my husband. I remained a  widow. Sorry Jesus, but I can't. You and your daddy up there in heaven have to consider me on this one. I know you can do me that bigger favour and cancel out forgiveness for me. It's just me, only one woman in Rwanda ooo, not all the women, I beg you sir. You and daddy get together real quick and get me an answer real fast before I leave this prison today.
I asked.
I finished preaching the sermon and was invited by the warden of the prison to join them at their prison cafeteria for lunch with all the prisoners and the prison staff. One bite into my chicken, and there was the face of this boy again..
Don't get up please madam, I have come to apologise to you for the horrible things me and my commander did to you and your family many years ago. I know I don't deserve forgiveness from you but can you please ask God to forgive me for the horrible things I have done??
You are a woman of God and I know he will listen to you more than he would listen to me a wretched sinner. All this while, I was filled with anger and confusion and asking God a lot questions in my head. But suddenly all the anger was replaced with sadness and pity when he finished talking. Tears from nowhere started flowing down my cheeks. I couldn't control myself and it just kept coming. I wiped the tears from my face quickly with my hands to avoid myself being seen by the rest of the people seated around me.
I went to look for the young man later in the prison yard to ask him to pray with me. He was first hesitant because he was afraid I would report him to the prison authorities of his hideous crimes. But he fell at ease when I knelt down Infront of him and held his hands to pray. We prayed for a few minutes and shared a message from the Bible together. I left the prison after 4pm but still my heart was  burning with hatred and unforgiveness from my past.
I have prayed and shared the word of God with him, but why do I still feel hate and anger in my heart, God?? I asked.
As I was getting closer to my house, I saw a few of my neighbours gathered around a small radio listening to the news. So I joined. I heard there was going to be a Commission of Reconciliation hearing for all the victims and survivors of the genocide at the parliament house in downtown Kigali tomorrow morning. So we must all be present to tell our stories and find healing for the entire nation of Rwanda.
I got to the parliament house around 9 am the next morning. Many people were already seated dressed in black and carrying pictures of the loved ones they had lost. Some had lost mothers, fathers, aunts, cousins, sons and daughters in the most horrifying way imaginable. Most of the soldiers who had committed these heinous crimes were also present and seated in the front role, a few metres away from the rest of us. I believe it was arranged that way  so that none of the soldiers will be attacked or harmed by the grieving families. The commissioner, a Catholic Reverend father from Belgium entered the room with his committee members who were all Rwandans and sat down. We all sat down together with them.
In the words of the Reverend father, "We have all gathered here today to seek the face of God for forgiveness for every Rwandan. Hutu or Tutsi, So help us God. Amen.
One by one, each victim came to tell their stories in the midst of heavy crying and sorrows which had filled everywhere in the auditorium. Stories of children who were commanded to butcher their own parents with a machete to young girls and grown women who had red hot iron rods inserted in their vaginas because they refused to allow themselves to be raped by these mad soldiers. Some men had their legs and arms chopped off with cutlasses and machetes for standing up to defend their wives and children. I guess their decapitated arms and legs was a symbol of punishment for their act of bravery in that moment.
Compared to their sufferings, mine was nowhere near what they had suffered. I took so much comfort from that.
The commissioner asked the soldiers to walk to each victim they can find and kneel before us. He then asked us to do whatever we wish to do them. Kill them even if you wish, he said but to my surprise no one ever lifted a finger to hurt even one of the soldiers.
  "You see, my members and I gave you a test today to express your anger and revenge on your victims. But none of you did any bad thing to hurt them." Do you know why?? Because the power of forgiveness starts in forgiving yourself first not the ones who hurt you or treated you bad. You must be the first to forgive yourself before you can have the power to forgive someone else."
  May God heal this dear nation, Rwanda. And may this beautiful country and its people rise again stronger we ask of you oh lord.
  Many years have passed since the genocide, and these days this young man who was once my nightmare of horrors follows me around the country and the world sharing the world of God and teaching the power of forgiveness and God's love for his people in difficult times.
  He is my best friend now and my greatest helper spreading the word of God around the world today.
I hope you will be touched by my story and understand that we all need forgiveness no matter the pain or hurt.

*Kwame Sarpong* |  *Freelance Writer* : 
Nyansa365 
e: nyansa365@gmail.com | w: nyansa365.blogspot.com 
m: +233205832364 | p: +233205832364
f: Otumfour Kwame Sarpong
t: @kwamesarpong25
inst: iamotumfour
L: Kwame Sarpong